1) Find a young orphan vegetable. They’re pliant and learn fast. Teach it the art of camouflage. How to be still. To mask its scent. To distract. If you see it, strike it, until it learns you will only love it when you think it’s gone. Its desire to please the only source of love in its life will drive it to perfection.
2) Shape a vegetable into a spoon or fork! Use it to shovel melted cheese into your face. More! MORE!
3) In the pale moonlight, cut a bouquet of Maiden’s Wort. Cure it in otter bile. Consult TANFORTH’S FOLLY vol. 3 pp. 18 and cast INVISIBILITY FOR BEETS.
4) Wrap ’em in bacon.