Where You Belong
by Michael SignalStation
I was preparing guacamole in the kitchen. Amanda was in the living room.
M: Hey, what's your favorite cuisine?
A: (silence... comes into the kitchen) Is this a trick question?
M: No... there's no trick.
A: If I don't know the answer, will I get deported?*
M (laughing): Do you think that the Immigration office has degraded to the point where if you can't answer questions about yourself, they'll send you back to where you came from? "What's your favorite color?" "Red... no, green!" "Sure, pal, get on the plane. Tell it to Osama."
A: Well, we've been married for two years... it seems like I should know my favorite cuisine by now.
Follow up:
* This absurd conversation is, unfortunately, much funnier if you've seen the Gérard Depardieu film Green Card, where Gerard is trying to avoid getting departed, so he marries Andie MacDowell, who wants to live in a nice place that'll only rent to married couples.
Unfortunately, the immigration officials are dubious, so the couple have to study in order to make it through a grueling interview where they'll be asked about each other, their dating history, etc. in order to prove that they're actually in love and they're not just using each other.
Of course, they actually do fall in love, which makes the stakes that much higher when the governmental grilling begins, because they haven't known each other for long.
The film probably made every young person who ever saw it worry that they can't say they're really in love unless they can do well on a pop quiz about their beloved.
Sample question: "What's your wife's favorite facial scrub brand?"
So yeah. True love = personal trivia.
Now you know.
08/09/07 09:23:32 pm,