From the mind of godownmatthew @ Twitter comes a franchise relaunch that'll knock your socks straight into the hamper. Reformatted and republished here because Amanda hates reading long things in reverse on Twitter, and who can blame her.

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godownmatthew: ROBOCOP VS TERMINATOR: just as Skynet is about to become sentient, OCP launches a billion dollar lawsuit against Cyberdyne.

Robocop has 'uphold copyright law' added to his prime directives.

Spends much of the beginning of the film shooting guys selling bootleg Simpsons and Family Guy merchandise.

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Your father is so fat... I can see why he married your overweight mother.

Your father is so fat... he was probably a smoker when he was younger and quit at some point.

Your father is so fat... I mean seriously. Look, the truth hurts.

Your father is so fat... that I'm guessing your dad wasn't coaching your youth soccer team and doing a lot of running along the sidelines. Or maybe he even ate your youth soccer teammates. Who knows? You haven't seen them lately, have you?

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godownmatthew: almost every videogame (esp action games) i've played in the last few years contains a macho, 'cool' adoptive father figure...
godownmatthew: fathers: if you raise your kids to be wimpy nerds, they will use technology to replace you in adulthood.

signalstation: @godownmatthew One of the highlights of my childhood was when Pac-Man told me he was proud of me.

godownmatthew: @signalstation i always wondered why q*bert was distant and uncaring growing up, then i found out frogger was my biological father.
godownmatthew: call of duty: daddy issues 2

signalstation: @godownmatthew Batman: Awkward Hug Asylum

Click on over to The Signal weblog to find the latest episode.

chnry: i found the perfect xmas present for you

m.signalstation: A director's cut of Pretty Woman on DVD?

chnry: Goats in Villages Shiraz-Pinotage from South Africa

m.signalstation: Ha! Yeah, I was eye-balling that last time I was at [a nearby Greek restaurant]
m.signalstation: Almost picked it up!

chnry: i remember you eying it, almost bought it for you
chnry: it's twist-off too, so we can drink at work!

m.signalstation: Brilliant.

chnry: WAY too difficult to bring a corkscrew to work

m.signalstation: Bring it in pieces. Just pretend you're visiting a prison. For wine offenders.