Millennials Are Killing the Nose Imp Industry

Go to the center of any village these days and you’ll find makeshift campsites ringing the square, filled to overflow with nose imps.

These playful creatures, once a regular sight in the cavernous nostrils of our forefathers, are now more frequently seen huddling under broken crockery, never having seen the inside of a nose, suffering from the elements.

The reason: Millennials. Too good to share their noses. “Oh, the itching… the conversation!” they say. “And don’t they lead to brain damage?”

A soft generation with pinched noses that whistle… a whistle of selfishness.