1) While you are still an idea, unformed, before you’re drawn to this material plane, influence one of your parents to be an octopus
2) Distribute 2-for-1 discount coupons to every hair on your legs. Thanks to financial incentives, your hair will keep doubling until you have a smooth pelt like an otter.
3) Replace your legs with mathematics. Run your hands along smooth sine curves and explain to the curious that your lower limbs are now leg-orithms.
4) Let two seals attempt to eat your legs, but ask them to stop at the hips.