1) Their offering to the bog witch on their friend’s behalf was insufficient. Even now, their friend’s mouth is filling with mud, a crone’s cracked heel pressing down on their back, pushing them down into the muck and their offering— maybe a $20 iTunes card?— chucked dismissively under the roots of a mangrove. Bog witches prefer physical media!
2) Our friend’s phone is possessed. An 18th century dandy has entered the in error, distracted by its bauble-esque qualities. An 18th century dandy knows nothing of texting!
3) Did we text the wrong person?
4) Our friends don’t exist when they’re not physically present. This entire world is an illusion. Or maybe their friend’s phone died?