All posts by M Van Vleet

earlier every year

The three ghosts that visited me over Christmas are still here.

Now they’re holding boxes of candy. They’re dropping Valentine’s cards and roses in every room while I sleep, moaning about how I need to change my ways.

I have to live here, spirits, please.

only so many shopping days left

Alone for the holidays? Did you know you can carve a face in a potato, or an apple, and just like that, you’ve ruined a potato, or an apple?

Still got some last minute holiday shopping to do? Did you know that the bottom of any lake can hold more secrets than you can possibly contain inside of you?

Give the gift of screaming into a lake this holiday season!

Follow Follow Follow

oh boy, another #FollowFriday, let’s get you sorted. You should follow:

Sweet Petal, goddess of loam, the flower sprouting out of a skull’s eye, beloved of midwives and farmers. Doing a 2-for-1 on blessings this month for new followers.

“Party” Atoyl, self-proclaimed god of “having fun at the bottom of a pit,” still down at the bottom of the pit we put him in after he attempted to eat the village well. Keep an eye on them.

Kleympt, guardian of lost treasure. Because, you know. Treasure.

3 Hot Looks Blowing Up This Winter

1. Yeti on the Move – Big hair EVERYWHERE, with reindeer blood accents. For those in the know, it’s ABOMINABLE snow. Yeti? Yow!

2. Santa Dragged Out of a Lake, Dead – Big smiles, bluish skin, light and free as someone who’s off-duty FOREVER. Red, white and WHO is THAT?!? Cold AND hot!

3. Stick Bug – That’s it, bend those angular limbs out, baby, it’s Stick Bug season. Sometimes limbs, sometimes sticks… SHHHH! The birds will NEVER know. A sexy secret!

The Signal: EP183

The Signal: EP183 – Exactly 45 minutes of music perfect to lock lips to. We’ve got plenty of treats for your post-holiday weekend! Tune in for French psych-meets-DJ culture, IDM, Turkish pop, French hip hop, Radiohead in dub, drum & bass and more!

Download by clicking on the link (or image) above. The file is available only for a limited time. If you’re interested in the tracklist, it’s in the mp3 itself, in the id3 tags. If you’d like to receive an email every time a new mix is posted, uh… ask me, I guess. I keep a list but I do it manually. Or just keep coming back here every once in awhile. It’s a free country.

Only 20 Miles ’til Jack Fancy’s Turkey Fight! Don’t Miss It!

Can a Turkey Take a Punch? Can You Take an Offramp to Find Out? 5 Miles to Jack Fancy’s Turkey Fight!

There’s Still Time to Turn Around ‘Cause You Just Missed Jack Fancy’s Turkey Fight! 1 Exit Back!

Why Did You Abandon Us? The Turkeys Have Won! Our Lives Are Ruined! We Were Counting On You to Help Even the Odds! Even As Moral Support, You Could Have Turned the Tide! Doom Is Upon Us! Drive Safe!

it’s wednesday

It’s Wednesday and we all know what that means! If you have any older family members who made ill-advised bargains with dark powers (despite telling you throughout your childhood not to do that), today’s the day to head over and visit.

And if they’re pinned to the ceiling in a pool of black bile, limbs twisting, cursing the Entity, be sure to get a broomstick and roll them over so the bile doesn’t have a chance to try and really stick ’em up there.

I forgot to study!

had that nightmare again where I was supposed to be “studying the blade” while everyone else did cool stuff but I hadn’t ever taken my sword out of the box and I’m at sword-finals and I’m gonna fail

while your teeth were falling out and you were at school with no clothes on, I was (supposed to be) studying the blade

Gentlemen’s Swash! Pirate Parry, sneaky! Pirate Parry, bold! The Ol’ Razzmatazz! Big Swing-a-rooni! Thrust-o! Stabby! L’il stabby! Huz-ZAH!

The Pope’s Left-Hander! Ha! Elliot’s Sword Wiggle! Overhand Broccoli Bash! Underhand Twinkle Block! (please, please let one of these be right, I’m in so much sword-debt)

born too late

60 years ago it was possible for a single income household to afford a small starter home mounted on giant chicken legs that would roam through the forest

and today my real estate agent says I can only afford a wooden raft mounted on a blanket of worms