When I first logged into the internet, you had to fast for 48 hours, then drink a bitter tea that made you throw up. They’d roll you up next to a fire and behind your eyelids, the tumbling world, the bottomless sky and the the internet would talk to you.
It would tell you that your concerns were so small and the universe so large. It would tell you of a thing called a Bonzi Buddy (a kind of mechanical elf made of higher dimensions).
And you never wanted (or needed) to go online again.