The Usual Savant

a photo of an apple, a mug reading Donut Savant, and some sunglasses
Product Placement

On the way into work this morning, I picked up some donuts from Donut Savant for my colleagues in the office. I also decided to treat myself to a mug, because I liked the shape and heft of it and the brand had won me over with their consistently amazing deep-fried and sugared product line.

While preparing some coffee in the office’s kitchen, a work colleague asked if I was the one who had brought in the donuts. “That depends,” I said, “on your feelings about the donuts. If you’re happy they’re here, then yes, I take credit. If you’re going to say ‘Oh, I’m on a diet, why did you bring them’ then I don’t know anything about it.”

And then, I attempted a joke that completely failed.

I turned to my colleague, mug in hand, and said “Of course, there’s always the chance you could Keyser Soze out the situation” and gave the mug a little waggle.

A small reference to the conclusion of The Usual Suspects. You understand.

I didn’t see any comprehension of the joke. Maybe he didn’t see the mug. I waggled it again. Nothing. The conversation moves on.

Hours pass.

And I realize that my new mug has a logo only on the side that was facing me. So he’d have no idea why I was waggling my mug and indicating that a proper detective might be able to figure out who brought the donuts.

I explained this to him later, as I was interested in the joke’s failure and my eventually solving of the reason why it failed, and he told me that it wouldn’t have helped, as his brain was refusing to serve up who “Keyser Soze” was, and he was trying to recall if he knew a politician by that name, so…

Failure after failure.

I dunno. I found it interesting.

The Signal: EP112

Gamera with label The Signal EP 112

The Signal: EP112 – Partying like giant turtles for 2015. 45 minutes of music for any 45-minute tasks you have to accomplish; a perfect accompaniment. I wonder if I’m going to go do some quick reading to find out if that semicolon is being used even remotely close to how it should be used. I think it’s wrong. Pretty sure that post semicolon bit needs to be a full, related sentence. Might be disqualified as a sentence fragment.

This file’s going to be online for a limited time only, so download away. We’ve got rock music, vaporwave music, the sound of foreign trains, distant mall music, hip hop, outlaw country, experimental music for cats, cumbia and funky organ. That’s a bunch! Holy cats! The track list can be read in the id3 tags of the mp3. Right-click on that sucker. Notes are below if you want to know more.

Walkdog by Sofia Samatar


I’m not really sure what to say to give context. The story title/link is to a very short story about a mythical, modern creature, written as if by a young teenager as a research paper/homework assignment. I enjoyed it. I thought you might. I often think, when I read amazing things, that the well-written thing has changed me somehow and I get uncomfortable, that I might be the only person who has been changed, that by reading something I am now apart from the rest of the world that has not read it. I’m recommending a piece of short fiction to you and I’m trying to be less alone. Does that make sense?

Maybe I just should have linked to the story. This turned out weird. I’m going to click the Share Link button anyway, though, because this moment when I’m typing is pinned in between two infinities that stretch out and I’m not in most of that space… for most of that time. I’m just here, typing. Sometimes reading. I’d like you to be, as well, if you’re game for it.

Categorized as Webloggery

Visit Scenic Dragon Lick!

postcard with dragon and text
Visit Scenic Dragon Lick!


Our local attractions include:

  • An amphibian exhibit
  • Butter churning
  • Lots of mud
  • Almost daily dragon visits! They lick our buildings for salts and very rarely hurt anyone!
  • World’s Most Kickable Town Idiot
  • Sausages!
  • Mostly safe!
  • Library with THREE books!