I may have failed to kill Moby Dick in life, but in death I shall be avenged when that great devil-cetacean comes to pass water upon my very grave.
ALT: I may have failed to kill Dracula after a life of pursuing him across the continent, but in death I shall be avenged, for I have proffered to that slick-haired fiend an invitation to enter my grave plot, an honor to which he shall be supernaturally compelled to take advantage.
Autodidactimal
No university in the realms could teach you what you yearned to know about being an animal. Your adopted curriculum: Lived Experience
POSSESSIONS
Animal skin
Hydration pouch
Notepad
ADVANCED SKILLS
Instincts 4
Scholarship 2
Herd Safety 2
The Signal: EP169 – Exactly 45 minutes of music to accompany the dawning horror that this mask may not come off. This is your life now, so aren’t you lucky it’ll have Turkish psych-rock, steel drum hip hop covers, Japanese pop, lo-fi beats, French rap and more?
Download by clicking on the link (or image) above. The file is available only for a limited time. If you’re interested in the tracklist, it’s in the mp3 itself, in the id3 tags.
Your creator failed to give you purpose and so you found your own: to make of your stitched-together flesh a paean to passion.
POSSESSIONS
• Easily removable outfit
• Charging station
ADVANCED SKILLS
Dance 4
Romance 2
Pathos 2
Science 1
There was about half a year
where I was often alone
in the office and
I wouldn’t bother
to turn the lights on
I’d make coffee in the dim
kitchen and pretend
it was the apocalypse already
imagine the windows blown out
and an unobstructed view
of the lake below
but I still wasn’t ready
for the pandemic and never going back
for grocery shopping with
fogged glasses
and empty
shelves
maybe ’cause all the
lights were
still on
Whether clearing an infestation or delivering a trained one for a targeted love connection, you’re a trusted pro when it comes to these winged pests.
Advanced Skills:
Cupid Lore 4
Trapping 3
Romance 1
Equipment:
1d3 cupid traps
Wet wipes
Mangled book of love poems
The Birthday Celebrant
It’s your birthday! You can do anything you want!
Advanced Skills:
Party 3
Entitlement 2
Etiquette 1
Regret 1
Possessions:
Most of a cake
A festive paper hat
Dread re: death’s approach
Noisemaker
A Scratched CD-R Found In An Abandoned Sleigh Labeled “REINDEER JAMZ” – Exactly 45 minutes of xmas music you didn’t know you wanted to hear, picked with the imp of the perverse spinning the ol’ music genre wheel. We’ve got rock, pop, blues, sure… but we’ve also got Christmas reggae, Halloween monster holiday cheer, drum-n-bass, dubstep, vaporwave, a weather report, punk rock and a musical program from a children’s psychiatric hospital.
If that sounds like the holidays to you, click on the image or link above to download and enjoy! Tracklist is in the file’s id3 tags.
The Signal: EP168 – Exactly 45 minutes of tunes to close out one of the longest decades of this year. This time around we’ve got some pop archeology, “library music,” Turkish funk by way of Sweden, a one-man band, an unpronounceable electronic alter ego and much much more!
Download by clicking on the link (or image) above. The file is available only for a limited time. If you’re interested in the tracklist, it’s in the mp3 itself, in the id3 tags. There’s a mailing list as well but I’ve stopped using the platform I used to use, so for now I’m just sending it from my personal email. To get added, you’re going to have to actually reach out to me. Mailing list members, The Tuned In, are among the first on the planet to know when a new mix is posted, and they get a permanent archive link and the entire playlist, delivered to your inbox. Can you imagine?