Signs Your Exorcist May Not Be Legit [2018]

illustration: a dandy, an exorcist holding a stick, a floating woman with a demon of fog leaving her mouth

1. Their sole piece of equipment they call a “Ghostbustin’ stick,” which you suspect is a storm-blown tree limb from your neighbor’s lawn.

2. They claim they learned how to exorcise “from the streets” and so you ask “Which streets?” but when you go to those named streets, they still look pretty haunted actually.

3. When asked their favorite thing about being an exorcist, they say “Working in a field that has no centralized licensing authority.”

[illustration: Pete Toms]