Has this ever happened to you?
Time and again you find yourself pulled from sleep’s embrace by the crushing weight of a cackling spectral crone who’s crouching on your chest?
If so, follow our very simple program:
1) Realize that sleep is just lost time. You weren’t accomplishing anything anyway. Be grateful you’re awake again.
2) Truly value the contributions of crones. If not for them, who would take on these valuable chest-crushing responsibilities? Spookums? As if!
3) Thank your crone with nice smoke offerings, and some lentils left behind your stove (uncooked).
It’s that easy!
PAID FOR BY THE LENTIL COUNCIL