The faeries came and traded our baby for a fake leg. Thing’s totally made out of wood and there’s not enough liquor in the house to help us see a resemblance to our missing kiddo.
But the clothing store doesn’t take returns, so that leg’s getting dressed up in a sun bonnet. That leg’s getting a stroller ride along the beach.
Eventually, that leg’s getting a college fund, faeries. We don’t care. We had life plans and we’re sticking to ’em. Us and leg baby.
Hear that, faeries? WE’RE FINE!