the pinging notification sound when the cabinets are empty save for saltines boxes

all the recruiters are reaching out on linkedin and each of them have profiles that list competencies such as

* The Closing Fist
* The Tongue Taste of Time
* Inside-Outing
* Skin Collection

and the inbox notifications, they can be seen from across the room, why is that?

Job market’s tight. Job market’s constricting.