1) Enter your credit card, personal details, and describe your perfect partner.
2) Wait 20-30 years for the earth to be swallowed by rising seas.
3) Hold your phone aloft while shouting the name of my app to any survivors you come across eking out a living on a storm-blown expanse, struggling to relearn agricultural practices in a hostile environment.
If anyone remembers my app from the Before Times… it’s a match! True love awaits!