SALE: Magic Wand (1-sided)

Warlocks and hedge-wizards, pot-stirring sorcerers of soups and stews, herb-ladies and curse staplers!

We have available— steeply discounted!— the world’s first safety magic wand. Have you ever noticed that with most wands, while one end is pointing at your target there’s another end always pointing at you? Risky!

No more, folks! With our new single-direction wands, every spell goes in the right direction! These wands remove all mystical ambiguity!

Order now and you’ll also receive a FREE scrying orb stand made of colored pressboard… just like astronauts use!